Self-esteem: your default attitude toward yourself

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is your sense of how worthy and deserving of respect you are. If self-confidence is the belief that "I can do this well," self-esteem is closer to the belief that "whether I do well or not, I am an okay person."

Self-esteem is not fixed at birth. It changes with experiences, relationships, and the habits you use to treat yourself.

Signs of low self-esteem

• Finding compliments hard to believe while criticism lingers for a long time
• Often comparing yourself with others and always feeling not good enough
• Being unable to say no and trying to meet everyone's expectations
• Beating yourself up after mistakes: "I knew I'd mess it up"
• Avoiding new challenges out of fear of failure

Self-esteem and mental health

Low self-esteem is not an illness in itself, but it often interacts with depression and anxiety. If your self-esteem has been low for a long time and you also feel down, try the depression self-check and consider talking to a counselor.

Ways to build self-esteem

• Change how you talk to yourself: say to yourself what you would say to a close friend who made the same mistake.
• Record small wins: write down three things you did well each day. Even "I got up on time" counts.
• Compare less: cut down on social media and compare yourself with "yesterday's me" instead.
• Set boundaries: practice saying "I can't this time" to unreasonable requests.
• Look after your body: regular sleep and exercise directly affect mood and how you see yourself.

Self-esteem does not change overnight. You will notice a difference after several weeks of steady practice.